SHANGHAI

7 reasons why this is my first and LAST visit to Shanghai, China.

1. CRAZY CABS: I have been to New York City and ridden in what I thought were some pretty crazy cabs, but those experiences fail in comparison to what it’s like to ride in a Chinese cab. When we got off the boat in Shanghai the first day, we went to hail a cab to lunch. It took us three cabs before we found one that would take us to where we needed to go. The cab drivers spoke almost no English and would get so frustrated with us. Not to mention I got the lovely experience of riding up in the front seat. I would cringe at how close we would get to the other cars and pedestrians. Also there seemed to be no traffic rules, the cabs would weave in and out of lanes and sometimes even drive down the middle of two lanes to keep other cars from passing them. It was like being in one of those virtual reality rides we use to do as kids at the Park Meadows mall.
2. NO NON-SMOKING SECTIONS: I have never smoked a cigarette in my life, but I have inhaled enough second hand smoke on this trip to China to make me feel like a chain smoker. I hadn’t realized how spoiled I was back in the US with all of the laws banning smoking in restaurants. In China everyone smokes everywhere. Every restaurant you go in is foggy with smoke. I would shower three times a day because my hair and clothes would reek of smoke. It was so gross. But at this rate, they won’t have to worry about decreasing their population size with the one-child policy because half of their population will die of lung cancer.
3. LINE-CUTTERS: Our first stop in Shanghai was the Pearl tower where on top there is a revolving restaurant and incredible view of the city. But like everything in China, the booth to buy a ticket was so crowded. So we began to line up in a nice orderly fashion, but we quickly learned that lines are not very big in China. Everyone just pushes and shoves to the front. People elbow and argue with complete strangers, and no one cares who has been there longer. It took us almost a half an hour to get our tickets because we got cut so much. One man even pushed his child into the line and then pretended to have to follow him. It was the most frustrating experience.
4. PAPARAZZI: Once we got our tickets for the tower we proceeded to yet another crowed “line” to actually get into the tower. In addition to being starred at constantly, many of the Chinese began taking our picture. Everywhere we turned someone had their camera in our face snapping away. And it probably didn’t help that I was traveling with three blondes. My roommate (blonde) got asked all day long to take pictures with people’s kids. Brittany Spears has my complete sympathy now.
5. IF IT HAS FOUR LEGS THE CHINESE WILL EAT IT: Until China I had been pretty spoiled in being able to find good food to eat in the ports. But in Shanghai I couldn’t believe the kinds of things that were on the menu – goose liver, pigeon, shark, and all sorts of other bizarre animals that should just not be eaten. The worst though is all the food available in the street markets. Everywhere you look people are holding sticks of food. One lady I was sure was eating an entire crab deep friend and put on a stick. Another child was gnawing on what looked like the dried up pig’s ear we use to feed to Cosmo. EWWW.
6. BARGAINING: It did not take very long in China to learn that bargaining is not a skill I possess. On one of the days we went to what I call the “knockoff” district to shop for fake designer purses, sunglasses, shoes, ect. It turns out these markets are available EVERYWHERE in China. The one we went into in Shanghai was 4 levels of endless little shops crammed with fake Louie Vinton purses, knock-off North Face Jackets, and pirated videos. When you walk around all the shopkeepers yell at you and try and persuade you to come into their store. Some of the merchandise looks so real, I don’t even know if I would have known the difference, others are terrible. Some of my friends were really getting into it; they got designer wallets, purses, and sunglasses for like $15. I ended up buying a North Face backpack, some Ray Ban Sunglasses, and about 20 DVDs. By the next day the zipper broke on my backpack, the paint chipped on my Ray Bans, and 5 of my DVDs turned out to be only English subtitles.
7. DIRTY: I think it may be safe to say China is one of the dirtiest places I have ever been. The streets are littered with trash, the sidewalks are all broken, and there are endless cigarette butts on the ground. However, the dirtiness of the landscape is not the first thing you will notice, it’s the smell. It was not uncommon for us to be walking around covering our noses because the smell was so horrible. I began to wonder if people were wearing surgical masks because they didn’t want to get sick or because they didn’t want to inhale the odor that is China. Also I guess it is socially acceptable for people to spit in public, it’s the grossest thing. I tried so hard to just not look down when I was walking around. I have a feeling I’ll be purging some shoes by the end of this trip.